First Draft
The point of views (POV) that I think should be used for that paragraph are notated. I am still learning. This is practice, practice, practice. It's also my first attempt using dialogue.
The prompt.
In Stephen Kings book "On Writing" The writing assignment was to write a story with the wife as the abuser.
Chapter One
(Present, Narrator)
A single lamp suspends from the ceiling. It was the only light in the room which left an eerie cast of shadows along the wall. All was quiet except for the faint sound of a television that was left on in the bedroom. You could barely hear the sound filtering into the living room where Adam sat perched on the edge of the sofa. His eyes cautiously following the red glow of the cigarette between her fingers.
“Look at me!” She screams, her voice breaking the quiet, causing Adam to wrench.
He slowly raised his head, careful not to make eye contact with her.
“You're pathetic! Look at you. You make me sick!” She cackles at him with a disgust that reveals years of hatred and her loathsome thoughts, for Adam, for her father, for every man.
With a start, she looks away from him. A voice from her past is calling out to her. She closes her eyes and hears him whispering her name. She shakes her head, then with a quick jolt she tries to toss him from her mind, but it's too late, she's already there.
(Past Narrator)
She lays very still, trying not to breathe as he hovers over her. She can smell him. A mixture of sweat, cigarettes and diesel, he worked in an automotive shop. It was almost as if he ate and drank of it. He reeked of it always, even after he bathed. The smell never left him; it made her stomach turn sour. The stench of whiskey was heavier this night than usual. It begins to burn in her nostrils. Her eyes start to tear. She convinces herself it had to be from the strong odor of the whiskey, they weren't tears, no tears, no more.
He climbs on top of her, his mouth wrapping around her ear, he whispers her name. Chills run down her spine, despising the very sound of her own name. Her small body tightens as he once again begins to violate her in way that in her mind only his violent death could ever vindicate.
She can see and hear everything so clearly, hearing the vows she made to herself that night.
“No man will ever hurt me again, never!” She swears through clenched teeth.
With every thrust her heart is hardened-hatred rears up inside of her. No more tears, no more sorrows, just unadulterated hated for his very existence. For the existence of all men.
She then made her second vow; she would kill him first thing in the morning.
He climbs on top of her, his mouth wrapping around her ear, he whispers her name. Chills run down her spine, despising the very sound of her own name. Her small body tightens as he once again begins to violate her in way that in her mind only his violent death could ever vindicate.
She can see and hear everything so clearly, hearing the vows she made to herself that night.
“No man will ever hurt me again, never!” She swears through clenched teeth.
With every thrust her heart is hardened-hatred rears up inside of her. No more tears, no more sorrows, just unadulterated hated for his very existence. For the existence of all men.
She then made her second vow; she would kill him first thing in the morning.
~
Chapter Two
(Present Narrator POV)
“Sara? Honey, please can we talk about this?”
Adam searches his wife's face for answers. Her eyes are wild, he'd seen them like that before, many times, but something was different. Was that a tear forming in the corner of her eye? If it was it would be the first, at least the first he had ever seen.
“Sara, please sit down.” Adam whispers. “I'm sorry. Okay? Whatever I did, for what I did; let's just sit and talk for a minute. Put the cigarette down and come here and sit down.” Adam pats the space beside him, motioning with his other hand for her to come and sit next to him.
All the while keeping his eye on the cigarette, that dangled precariously between her fingers.
For a reason only her inner demons must know her rage abruptly subsides. He had never seen her like this. Of course he'd seen her rages many times since Katelyn's death but this time she looked defeated, as if she had just experienced a fatal blow. Deflated, she walks over to Adam, looks him in the eye, instantly, her eyes widen and with all of the force that is within her, she strikes him hard across his face. Without saying a word she drops the cigarette to the floor, turns and walks out of the room.
Adam sweeps his tongue across his bottom lip, tasting his salty blood that is oozing from his new war wound. With the back of his trembling hand, he wipes the blood from his lip and grabs his coat. Pulling out his car keys from the pocket, he walks out the door.
He knew it could have been worse like so many times before.
“What has happened to my life? He asks himself, not understanding how his life took such a wrong turn.
His thoughts are racing; Sara’s right, I am pathetic. In desperation he screams out into the night “God help me. What do I do?”
His shame ran deep. He beats his head against the steering wheel of his car, not knowing why he is even sitting in his car. He had nowhere to go. He thought of running his car into a brick wall, dispelling that thought quickly. Now that driving his car into a brick wall was no longer an option, he turns the key, sitting for minute with the car idling and begins to pray to a God, he barely knew.
~
He takes a deep breath, pulls onto the road and begins to drive and think.
(Past Johns POV)
Why am I still living in this hell? It’s been two years since Katelyn died. Why did I stay? At first I thought, maybe it was a phase. I had convinced myself this was Sara's way of dealing with the loss of our daughter. Sara had been a loving wife once, hadn't she? Well, most of the time. She had moments where she would go on her tirades; never knowing what would trigger them. And her sharp tongue; she could be really harsh. She was always sorry afterwards and she had never been violent; not once, not before Katelyn died.
The doctors said Katelyn had just stopped breathing; things like this happen, they said kind of matter a fact. My little angel was only two months old.
Sara became withdrawn shortly after Katelyn was born. She wanted a boy. We were told it was going to be a girl but Sara refused to believe it, she insisted the doctors had made a mistake. After Katelyn’s birth, Sara became detached to everyone particularly towards Katelyn and her anger towards me turned vile.
I’ll never forget her detached tone. It was thick and stoic when she told me, Katelyn had died. She waited until I got home from work to tell me. That made no sense to me but there was too much to grasp, too many questions that seemed more important at that time. It was all too much for me. I guess I pushed that out of my mind. Now two years later that question haunts me more than anything. Well almost more than anything, she never cried over Katelyn's death either. The memory of that time stirs this feeling of dread deep inside of me.
~
(Narrator POV)
It was fear that rose up inside of him every time he pondered on those two questions, why did she wait? Why hasn’t she cried? He had to admit he was afraid of her. He wasn't a violent man, evidently not even in the face of danger; he couldn't raise a hand to her. He did initially attempt to protect himself. He was careful to avoid her cigarettes. She would smash them onto his face. She took pleasure in scarring him. He would also attempt to deflect her swings, but eventually he found himself cowering in the corner fearing for his very life.
It was fear that rose up inside of him every time he pondered on those two questions, why did she wait? Why hasn’t she cried? He had to admit he was afraid of her. He wasn't a violent man, evidently not even in the face of danger; he couldn't raise a hand to her. He did initially attempt to protect himself. He was careful to avoid her cigarettes. She would smash them onto his face. She took pleasure in scarring him. He would also attempt to deflect her swings, but eventually he found himself cowering in the corner fearing for his very life.
~
He continues to drive, persevering through the night, stopping only for gas.
Yawning he rubs his eyes and stretches one arm around his chest trying to stir himself up a bit. Tiring he strains to see the road in front of him, there was no moon or stars out to illuminate his way. His headlights were the only lights breaking through the dark night. He didn't know where he was going; he just knew he had to go. There was nothing left to hold on to. No reason for him to go back. Katelyn was gone and so was Sara. Had she ever really been there? He didn't know anything anymore. The only thing that made any sense now was to keep driving and to never look back.
~
Chapter Three
Winter was almost over. Spring was a welcome sight, bringing with it a new life for Adam with new beginnings. The divorce to Sara had been finalized in December. Standing on his deck looking out towards the lake, Adam draws in the fresh crisp air, filling his lungs and releasing with a satisfying sigh.
“Glad to be alive.” He muses.
He no longer had to live with the shame. He found a care group within one of the local churches. They wrapped their arms around him. What he thought would be a burden of shame to reveal his secrets, turned out to be quite redemptive. A new life began to evolve almost the moment he opened himself up to God and to others in his church.
He hadn't talked to Sara since that night. He let his lawyer’s handle everything. He even offered to pay for her attorney. He wanted to make a clean break, no hard feelings as they say. He decided forgiveness, and letting go of all the bitterness was far better than holding on to it. More than anything, he wanted to live again.
He realized the events that had transpired in his life were just as much about him as they were about her. Even so, he couldn't help but wonder what deep dark secrets Sara kept hidden inside her soul. He wanted to know the truth, the truth about Katelyn, the truth about what turned Sara into a monster, but peace, yes peace right now was more important. Those secrets were going to have to lay dormant a while longer. He trusted the Lord would lead him to the truth when he was ready. Until then he was going to learn to walk in wholeness and hold his new friends and his new life dearly close to his heart.
“Adam, you have a phone call.” Roger, Adam’s roommate breaks his serenity.
“Can you take a message? I hate to pass up this glorious morning on the phone.”
“Sorry, Adam you should probably take this, she says her name is Sara.”
Adam’s heart almost stopped. He was surprised it didn’t. His hands began to sweat and his mouth went dry the very moment her name was mentioned.
“How did she find my number?” He whispers to Roger.
“I don’t know man; you want me to tell her you’re not here?”
“Sorry to do this to you but get her number. I have to call her back”
“Okay, don’t worry, I got it covered.” Roger assures him.
Adam can’t imagine what she could want after all this time. She hadn’t contested the divorce, she hadn’t argued any point. She hadn’t requested to talk with him about anything written in the papers. He wondered what she could want now that it was all done.
“Hell, Roger she got everything. When I walked out that night all I had were the clothes I was wearing. I left everything behind! I think I’m gonna be sick.” Adam moans.
Adam knew he needed to get his head together; this was too much to take in. All of these emotions coming at him surprised him; he thought he was over the past. He thought he had moved on. He grabs his bible and heads towards the lake.
Roger calls out to him; Adam waves his bible in the air and keeps walking. Roger smiles, knowing he was going to be all right.
Adam walks to his favorite spot on the lake front, between two massive oak trees. He always feels safe nestled between the two of them. He built a sturdy bench out of teak wood and set it between the two trees. He came to this place many times during his restoration period. He felt closest to God here. Sitting, he begins to search the word, speaking out to God asking for answers and seeking peace. Above all things he knew he needed God’s peace.
“Adam.” Barely a whisper, yet still recognizable.
Adam opened his eyes. For a moment he wished it was a ghost standing before him, but it wasn't it was her. It was Sara.
He checked himself, realizing his prayer had been answered, his inner turmoil had subsided. Adam looked past Sara, in the distance he saw two men in suits, one leaning against their car the other pacing up down the dirt road chain smoking cigarettes. Adam looked quizzical at Sara, but felt he should be silent.
“Adam, I tried to call first, but you were busy. I am sorry to drop in on you like this but I thought it would be best you heard this from me than from someone else.”
“Hear what? How did you know where to find me?”
“I’ve always known Adam. I came here one night to kill you, but I couldn’t do it. I was over taken by grief at the very sight of you.
“Wait, you’ve been here, in my house?” “When?” “To kill me?
“That doesn’t matter.”
“It doesn’t matter? You came to my home to kill me and it doesn’t matter?”
“Well, yes of course it does, but, but oh, please Adam.” She says, looking at him.
He notices tears streaming down her face.
“Your crying? Sara, what’s going on and who are those men?”
“May I sit?”
“Yes.” Adam pats the seat next to him and with his other hand he motions for her to come and sit next to him. Remembering the last time he did that, “Yes Sara sit, let’s talk.”
“Those men over there are waiting for me. They are attorneys. When I leave here I am going to turn myself in.”
“Turn yourself in?” Adam swallows hard, sensing his fears are about to be founded. Without thought he tightens his grip on his bible and waits.
“Adam. I have done some terrible things, awful and unforgivable things. Sara looks down at her hands. Placing one trembling hand over the other, “I hate that.” She says.
Adam covers her trembling hands with his own. He already knew what she was about to tell him. It was as if his inner spirit had already prepared him for this moment.
She begins with telling him about her father, his drunken breath on her face as he violated her night after night. She pauses, to collect her thoughts. Continuing, she tells him about the last time he abused her. She tells him, how the moment she made the vow to protect herself was actually the moment she destroyed herself.
“Something inside of me changed, Adam. That night I vowed he would never hurt me again. I stopped crying. Almost instantly fear left me. That night I stopped feeling. When he was done with me, he staggered out of my room and passed out across his bed. I can still see my movements; it was as if I were on auto pilot. I don’t recall thinking, just doing. I sat and lit one cigarette after another, leaving it on the bed until his sheets caught fire. I carefully collected all the butts and carried them out of the room as his bed went up in flames. He was so stupid drunk; he never even woke up. I walked out the front door. I wasn’t sure if he was going to die, but I didn’t care, I wanted him to hurt, die, anything, something. Doing nothing was no longer possible for me. It really was much easier than I thought. As I walked down the street I flung the butts one at a time scattering them in the wind. I pretended they were his burnt ashes. That’s not how it happened though, he didn’t burn to ashes. He did die but not for four days. I sat at his bedside and watched his last breath leave his body. It was the most satisfying day of my entire life. In his suffering I found comfort.”
Taking a deep breath, she begins to shake, sobbing, she begs Adam to forgive her.
Adam knows what’s coming next. He asks God for strength. His voice cracks as he asks her the question he’s always known the answer to.
“Did you?” He braces himself, still holding her hand.
She slowly nods her head. Adam tightens his grip around her hand. He begins to sob.
“I’m so sorry.” Sara whispers.
“Why, Sara? I don’t understand. Why? I’m not anything like that monster. What?”
“Fear, Adam, fear. I was so blinded by hatred for you, for just being a man and unbridled fear.”
She explains how her fear grew as her unborn child grew. She knew she had to protect her. Protect her from herself, but mostly from men. Once Katelyn was born, Sara knew the evil that men perpetrated couldn’t be allowed to touch her sweet innocent Katelyn. Her heart breaks all over again as she tells him how she gently covered their little Katelyn’s mouth and nostrils, and held them shut until she stopped breathing. She truly believed she was saving Katelyn from the hell she had lived. And hated Adam because she blamed him.
Winter was almost over. Spring was a welcome sight, bringing with it a new life for Adam with new beginnings. The divorce to Sara had been finalized in December. Standing on his deck looking out towards the lake, Adam draws in the fresh crisp air, filling his lungs and releasing with a satisfying sigh.
“Glad to be alive.” He muses.
He no longer had to live with the shame. He found a care group within one of the local churches. They wrapped their arms around him. What he thought would be a burden of shame to reveal his secrets, turned out to be quite redemptive. A new life began to evolve almost the moment he opened himself up to God and to others in his church.
He hadn't talked to Sara since that night. He let his lawyer’s handle everything. He even offered to pay for her attorney. He wanted to make a clean break, no hard feelings as they say. He decided forgiveness, and letting go of all the bitterness was far better than holding on to it. More than anything, he wanted to live again.
He realized the events that had transpired in his life were just as much about him as they were about her. Even so, he couldn't help but wonder what deep dark secrets Sara kept hidden inside her soul. He wanted to know the truth, the truth about Katelyn, the truth about what turned Sara into a monster, but peace, yes peace right now was more important. Those secrets were going to have to lay dormant a while longer. He trusted the Lord would lead him to the truth when he was ready. Until then he was going to learn to walk in wholeness and hold his new friends and his new life dearly close to his heart.
“Adam, you have a phone call.” Roger, Adam’s roommate breaks his serenity.
“Can you take a message? I hate to pass up this glorious morning on the phone.”
“Sorry, Adam you should probably take this, she says her name is Sara.”
Adam’s heart almost stopped. He was surprised it didn’t. His hands began to sweat and his mouth went dry the very moment her name was mentioned.
“How did she find my number?” He whispers to Roger.
“I don’t know man; you want me to tell her you’re not here?”
“Sorry to do this to you but get her number. I have to call her back”
“Okay, don’t worry, I got it covered.” Roger assures him.
Adam can’t imagine what she could want after all this time. She hadn’t contested the divorce, she hadn’t argued any point. She hadn’t requested to talk with him about anything written in the papers. He wondered what she could want now that it was all done.
“Hell, Roger she got everything. When I walked out that night all I had were the clothes I was wearing. I left everything behind! I think I’m gonna be sick.” Adam moans.
Adam knew he needed to get his head together; this was too much to take in. All of these emotions coming at him surprised him; he thought he was over the past. He thought he had moved on. He grabs his bible and heads towards the lake.
Roger calls out to him; Adam waves his bible in the air and keeps walking. Roger smiles, knowing he was going to be all right.
Adam walks to his favorite spot on the lake front, between two massive oak trees. He always feels safe nestled between the two of them. He built a sturdy bench out of teak wood and set it between the two trees. He came to this place many times during his restoration period. He felt closest to God here. Sitting, he begins to search the word, speaking out to God asking for answers and seeking peace. Above all things he knew he needed God’s peace.
“Adam.” Barely a whisper, yet still recognizable.
Adam opened his eyes. For a moment he wished it was a ghost standing before him, but it wasn't it was her. It was Sara.
He checked himself, realizing his prayer had been answered, his inner turmoil had subsided. Adam looked past Sara, in the distance he saw two men in suits, one leaning against their car the other pacing up down the dirt road chain smoking cigarettes. Adam looked quizzical at Sara, but felt he should be silent.
“Adam, I tried to call first, but you were busy. I am sorry to drop in on you like this but I thought it would be best you heard this from me than from someone else.”
“Hear what? How did you know where to find me?”
“I’ve always known Adam. I came here one night to kill you, but I couldn’t do it. I was over taken by grief at the very sight of you.
“Wait, you’ve been here, in my house?” “When?” “To kill me?
“That doesn’t matter.”
“It doesn’t matter? You came to my home to kill me and it doesn’t matter?”
“Well, yes of course it does, but, but oh, please Adam.” She says, looking at him.
He notices tears streaming down her face.
“Your crying? Sara, what’s going on and who are those men?”
“May I sit?”
“Yes.” Adam pats the seat next to him and with his other hand he motions for her to come and sit next to him. Remembering the last time he did that, “Yes Sara sit, let’s talk.”
“Those men over there are waiting for me. They are attorneys. When I leave here I am going to turn myself in.”
“Turn yourself in?” Adam swallows hard, sensing his fears are about to be founded. Without thought he tightens his grip on his bible and waits.
“Adam. I have done some terrible things, awful and unforgivable things. Sara looks down at her hands. Placing one trembling hand over the other, “I hate that.” She says.
Adam covers her trembling hands with his own. He already knew what she was about to tell him. It was as if his inner spirit had already prepared him for this moment.
She begins with telling him about her father, his drunken breath on her face as he violated her night after night. She pauses, to collect her thoughts. Continuing, she tells him about the last time he abused her. She tells him, how the moment she made the vow to protect herself was actually the moment she destroyed herself.
“Something inside of me changed, Adam. That night I vowed he would never hurt me again. I stopped crying. Almost instantly fear left me. That night I stopped feeling. When he was done with me, he staggered out of my room and passed out across his bed. I can still see my movements; it was as if I were on auto pilot. I don’t recall thinking, just doing. I sat and lit one cigarette after another, leaving it on the bed until his sheets caught fire. I carefully collected all the butts and carried them out of the room as his bed went up in flames. He was so stupid drunk; he never even woke up. I walked out the front door. I wasn’t sure if he was going to die, but I didn’t care, I wanted him to hurt, die, anything, something. Doing nothing was no longer possible for me. It really was much easier than I thought. As I walked down the street I flung the butts one at a time scattering them in the wind. I pretended they were his burnt ashes. That’s not how it happened though, he didn’t burn to ashes. He did die but not for four days. I sat at his bedside and watched his last breath leave his body. It was the most satisfying day of my entire life. In his suffering I found comfort.”
Taking a deep breath, she begins to shake, sobbing, she begs Adam to forgive her.
Adam knows what’s coming next. He asks God for strength. His voice cracks as he asks her the question he’s always known the answer to.
“Did you?” He braces himself, still holding her hand.
She slowly nods her head. Adam tightens his grip around her hand. He begins to sob.
“I’m so sorry.” Sara whispers.
“Why, Sara? I don’t understand. Why? I’m not anything like that monster. What?”
“Fear, Adam, fear. I was so blinded by hatred for you, for just being a man and unbridled fear.”
She explains how her fear grew as her unborn child grew. She knew she had to protect her. Protect her from herself, but mostly from men. Once Katelyn was born, Sara knew the evil that men perpetrated couldn’t be allowed to touch her sweet innocent Katelyn. Her heart breaks all over again as she tells him how she gently covered their little Katelyn’s mouth and nostrils, and held them shut until she stopped breathing. She truly believed she was saving Katelyn from the hell she had lived. And hated Adam because she blamed him.
They held each other and for the first time mourned the death of their daughter together.
She tells him about what went on in her mind that led to the night she came to kill him and of her plan to take her own life immediately after.
She continues, “Your sliding door wasn’t locked. There was a full moon that night which helped me find my way to your bedroom. It all seemed so perfect and so easy. I saw you sleeping with your bible open, lying across your chest. I stood over you unable to do what I came here to do. Disgusted with myself, I took one step back. I was about to walk out when I felt compelled to reach for your bible. I pulled it towards me and stared at the stark white pages that were opened. Without even reading anything in particular I suddenly was overtaken with grief. I ran out of your house clutching your bible to my chest, crying for the first time in 20 years. That was the moment that changed my life.
Adam interrupted, “Bible? Sara, I have my bible.”
They both realized that Sara had groped her way into Roger’s room. Adam remembered Roger looking all over for his Bible, finally giving up after two days, breaking down and buying himself a new one.
Adam didn’t feel anger or rage welling up inside of him at any point during Sara’s confessions.
She tells him about what went on in her mind that led to the night she came to kill him and of her plan to take her own life immediately after.
She continues, “Your sliding door wasn’t locked. There was a full moon that night which helped me find my way to your bedroom. It all seemed so perfect and so easy. I saw you sleeping with your bible open, lying across your chest. I stood over you unable to do what I came here to do. Disgusted with myself, I took one step back. I was about to walk out when I felt compelled to reach for your bible. I pulled it towards me and stared at the stark white pages that were opened. Without even reading anything in particular I suddenly was overtaken with grief. I ran out of your house clutching your bible to my chest, crying for the first time in 20 years. That was the moment that changed my life.
Adam interrupted, “Bible? Sara, I have my bible.”
They both realized that Sara had groped her way into Roger’s room. Adam remembered Roger looking all over for his Bible, finally giving up after two days, breaking down and buying himself a new one.
Adam didn’t feel anger or rage welling up inside of him at any point during Sara’s confessions.
He marvels at the immense sense of compassion that is overtaking him, compassion for her and for the tragic events that led her life to this fateful end. He continues to hold her. They sit intertwined, sobbing together for what seemed like hours.
He knew she could very well be sentenced to death for her crimes and she did too, a price she was willing and ready to pay. She had made her peace with God and now with Adam. She was ready to face whatever was to be done to her. She tears herself from his embrace, thanking him for not hating her and expresses her gratitude for his undeserved mercy.
Kissing him gently on his check, she whispers “I’m not afraid.”
As he watches her walk away, Adam knows it is the Lords strength that is keeping him standing. Without it he knows he would not have survived this.
He knew she could very well be sentenced to death for her crimes and she did too, a price she was willing and ready to pay. She had made her peace with God and now with Adam. She was ready to face whatever was to be done to her. She tears herself from his embrace, thanking him for not hating her and expresses her gratitude for his undeserved mercy.
Kissing him gently on his check, she whispers “I’m not afraid.”
As he watches her walk away, Adam knows it is the Lords strength that is keeping him standing. Without it he knows he would not have survived this.
5 comments:
My daughter said to add more description about things. For example who is Roger?
(at that I quickly revised and added roommate)
Elaborate more on Roger.
More detail, more feeling in Sara's explantion of events is needed. It's pretty heavy stuff shes saying only I have it too compacted she thought. She said she couldn't feel Sara, whe wanted to feel her pain, her struggle to tell him.
All good points. Thanks kiddo.
Theresa, that was incredible! You almost had me in tears, and it's gotten me to thinking about a lot of things. I felt her pain, experienced the violation, felt the confused frustration of Adam, and knew the passing from one person to another... the cloud that passes over and the past over-rides the present. I have been in such experience... though I know not why the emotion is so strong. I have not killed anyone, and I don't think I have been raped... though many who have had such experiences say that I have that aura about me. It may be something I have long blocked out of my memory. I don't know if I'll ever know the truth... or what I have hidden from myself. But thankyou for this story.
Something I've noticed, is that it is easier to tell your story when you tell it from a different perspective, using different people. It's getting it off your chest, and not putting yourself through the painful memories. You can sympathize with the character without falling victim to self pity. You are a very strong person Theresa, you will do great things for those who have suffered as you have suffered. God bless!
Thank you SF.Somtimes memories are suppressed until we are strong enough to deal with them.
My stepfather never actually had sex with me. However, he did make me do things to him and made me watch him do stuff to himself and watch x-rated movies with him. He did try once, but I started to cry. (I think I was 6 or 7that time)Mom was taking a bath so I think he got scared and stopped. He told her he had stepped on my toe. I agreed.
I also have never killed anyone, well not like that anyway. I did have an abortion when I was 2 months pregnant. I guess there is probably alot of me in Sara now that I think about it. I did hate men for a long time too. And my ex-boyfriend hit me once and after that I became the abuser, if he got within arms distance from me in an argument I was swinging. 2 black eyes, a busted lip and I almost broke his nose. He never touched me again. I am not proud of that, but I too made a vow or two that ended up hurting me more than helping me. hum. Isn't it funny? I try to write a simple fiction story and I am all over it. It wasn't intentional, I assure you, it just came out like that.
I made quite a bit of changes to the story but quite a bit in the part when they meet again between the trees. If you read the changes your feedback would be appreciated.
SF You have to let go of your past. I asked God to help me heal completely. He was faithful. He has healed me. It didn't happen over night, but it happened. It happened while I was taking the writing course. Forgiveness is a big big part of healing. You can't heal without it. God gave me the strength to Forgive them all.
Theresa, a true writer writes from the heart. Those of us who have suffered... that is usually the first thing that comes through our fingers. Whether or not we think about it. We write what we would have done, had we been stronger. Or how we viewed things, whether or not it truly happened.
In the eyes of the characters, they go through what we saw, what we felt, and how we reacted.
Quite often in our personal lives when we suffer, we turn to hurting others or driving them away before we can be hurt. We do things we feel guilty for afterwards, because it is not in our nature to do such things, but we do them from instinct.
We automatically believe evil of others because the ones we should have been able to trust betrayed us. What makes a strong writer is someone who can imbed their own lives into their writing. It makes it that much stronger, much easier to connect with.
Because we are "just human", our flaws make our characters more believable, and seeing them succeed gives hope to those who have been in like situations. Or those who have to pay the consequences, but have accepted responsibility for their actions. It is all the same. Those who have such thoughts as your Sara did, they will see the consequences of the thoughts, and that it doesn't have to be that way. That there are no excuses for the choices we make.
I know you must be tired of hearing this, but you are an amazing person, and God has truly watched over you. Through your pain, through your struggle, through your revelation. Your story would be one worth telling.
Hi, this is Sally from BWU blog, thank you for directing me here. Your writing is truly amazing to me. I think that what SF said is so true, one can certainly write about personal experiences and they are believable because they are true. An example would be like Hank Williams Sr. writing his songs. They were so good because he was writing the songs from his own experience, the feelings, emotions, hopes, fears everything that makes a person who they are comes out in the writings of the one that has lived it already. I hope this makes some sort of sense to you. I still need a lot of help writing. I have an awful time retaining what I have learned.
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