Redemption-Draft 3

Prompt: From Stephen Kings book "On Writing"
An abusive wife

Chapter One

The living room is barely lit. A single lamp suspends from the ceiling, casting an eerie formation of shadows alongside the wall. All is quiet except for the faint sound from a television that was left on in the bedroom. The sound barely filtering into the living room where Adam sat perched on the edge of the sofa. His eyes warily following the red glow of the cigarette that is carelessly dangling between her fingers.

“Look at me!” She screams, her voice breaking through the stillness, causing Adam to wrench.

He slowly raises his head, careful not to make eye contact with her.

“You're pathetic! Look at you. You make me sick!” She cackles at him with a disgust that reveals
her hatred and her loathsome thoughts, for him, for her father, for every man.

With a start, she turns and looks behind her. A voice from her past is calling out to her. She closes her eyes and hears him whispering her name. She shakes her head and with a quick jolt she tries to toss him from her mind. It’s too late; he’s already drawn her back to him.



She lies very still, trying not to breathe. She can sense his presence standing over her. She smells him, a mixture of sweat, cigarettes and diesel; he worked in an automotive shop. It was almost as if he ate and drank of it. He reeked of it always, even after he bathed. The smell never left him; making her stomach bitter. The stench of whiskey was heavier this night than usual. It begins to burn in her nostrils. Her eyes start to tear. She convinces herself it had to be from the strong odor of the whiskey, they weren't tears, no tears, no more.

Reaching for her, he draws close to her ear whispering her name. Chills run down her spine, despising the very sound of her own name.

She can see the events flashing through her mind as if they were happening to her at that very moment. She hears the vows she made; the vows that tragically stole her humanity.

“No man will ever hurt me again, never!” She swears through clenched teeth.

Drenched in his repulsiveness, her heart is hardened as hatred rears up inside of her. No more tears, no more sorrows, just unadulterated hatred for his very existence, for the existence of all men. In her mind only his violent death could ever vindicate her.

Making her second vow; she would kill him first thing in the morning. ~

Chapter Two

“Sara? Honey, please can we talk about this?”Adam searches his wife's face for answers.
Her eyes are wild, he'd seen them like that before, many times, but something was different. Is that a tear? If it was it would be the first, at least the first he had ever seen.

“Sara, please sit down.” Adam whispers. “I'm sorry. Okay? Whatever I did.” He corrects himself.
“For what I did; let's just sit and talk for a minute. Put the cigarette down and come here and sit down.” Adam pats the space beside him, motioning with his other hand for her to come and sit beside him.

All the while he keeps his eye on that same cigarette. The red glow is getting fainter as the ashes accumulate, suspending precariously in mid-air.


For a reason only her inner demons know, her rage abruptly subsides. He had never seen her like this. Of course he'd seen her rages many times since Katelyn's death but now as she stood there motionless she looked crushed as if she had experienced a fatal blow. He almost expected her to crumble to the floor. Abased, she lowers her head and walks over to Adam. Peering into his eyes, she pierces through him a despairing call for help. In his haste to help her, he extends his hand out to her. Sara’s eyes widen and with all of the force that is within her, she strikes him hard across his face, ashes and sparks scatter into the air.

She doesn’t say a word, to him, not even an insult, as she turns and walks out of the room. Adam sweeps his tongue across his bottom lip, tasting the saltiness of his own blood oozing from the gash. With the back of his trembling hand, he wipes his mouth, wrenching from the sting. He rises and walks to the door, with his hand on the knob he hesitates. Instinctively he looks behind him, expecting her to be there throwing curses at him for even thinking about leaving. She isn’t there this time. He reaches for his coat and walks out the door.

He guesses he should consider himself lucky tonight. He knows it could have been much worse as it had been so many times before.

Bewildered and alone with his usual thoughts of defeat and confusion after a night like this he gets in his car.

Sara's words piercing through him, "I am pathetic" he screams.

His shame runs deep. He bangs his head against the steering wheel, not sure why he is sitting there. He has nowhere to go. For a moment he contemplates running his car into a brick wall. He dispels that thought quickly, reminding himself, that he is a coward. Now that driving into a brick wall is not an option he decides it's relatively safe to start the ignition. He lets the car idle, still unsure what to do next. He cries out in desperation to a God he barely knows. He opens himself up, becoming transparent he exposes his fears, his shames and even his disappointment in God. ~

He finds that emptying himself is refreshing and strangely clarifying; taking a deep breath, he pulls onto the road, heading north.

“North to anywhere.” He declares triumphantly.

He begins his journey to an unknown destination. Strangely, he has no qualms about heading out to a destination he doesn't know. He feels empowered by his prayer with a renewed faith that wherever he ends up it will be good.

As Adam drives, his mind travels on its own journey back through his past tackling the hard questions.

Trying to find some understanding Adam ponder's his past.

(I change POV here. Is that Good or Bad?)
Why did I stay living in that hell for so long? It's been two years since Katelyn died. Why did I stay? At first I thought it was only a phase. I was convinced this was Sara's way of dealing with the loss of our daughter. Sara had been a loving wife once, hadn't she? Well, she was most of the time. She had moments where she would go on her tirades. I never knew what would trigger them, but I could handle them. Couldn't I? And her sharp tongue; she could be really harsh with her words, but she was always sorry afterwards. She had never been violent; not once I don't think. Not before Katelyn died. Why didn't I demand answers? I knew something tragic had happened to her, why didn't I make her talk about it? I was truly a coward, in so many different ways. I'm sorry Sara.

The doctors said Katelyn had simply stopped breathing; things like this happen, they assured me. A sympathetic pat on the back and we were sent home, alone, leaving Katelyn behind. Then I began the despairing task of burying my little Angel, who was only two months old. It was as if someone had reached into my throat and tried to pull my heart through it, stopping midway. How did I survive that?

Sara became withdrawn shortly after Katelyn was born. She had wanted a boy. We were told it was going to be a girl but Sara refused to believe it. She insisted the doctors had made a mistake. I never understood her great need for a son. When I asked her she would just shrug it off and say, she wanted him for me, to carry my last name, to be a legacy, a little Adam, she would chime. It made sense. After Katelyn's birth, Sara became more withdrawn and detached towards Katelyn. Her anger towards me grew, turning vile.

I knew her wanting a boy so desperately had to go much deeper than she was letting on, but Sara never talked about her feelings and I never pushed, asking questions always caused a problem. With Sara, when she was happy everything was great, when she wasn't it was deemed to be all my fault.

I'll never forget. Her detached tone was thick and stoic when she told me Katelyn had died. She waited until I got home from work to tell me. That made no sense to me but there was too much to grasp, too many questions that seemed more important at that time. It was all too much for me. I guess I pushed that out of my mind. Now two years later that question haunts me more than anything else. Well almost more than anything, she never cried over Katelyn's death either. Thinking about that still stirs a feeling of dread in my gut. I know there is more, but I fear I couldn't possibly handle knowing what that more might be. Oh Lord, help me understand this feeling that torments me day and night.

Adam grows weary. Emotionally drained he turns up the radio, hoping the music would stop his mind from the myraid of thoughts that are bombarding him. He doesn't want to think anymore, he just wants to rest. He concludes that singing along might help stop the whirling thoughts in his head. ~


It was fear that rose up inside of him every time he pondered those two questions. Why did she wait? Why hasn't she cried? Although he caught an occasional glimpse of the good women she had the potential to be he was aware of an evil that lurked just within the surface of her inner being. He knew it was wise to be afraid of her.

Adam wasn't a violent man, evidently not even in the face of danger; he couldn't raise a hand to her. He did initially attempt to protect himself. He was careful not to stand within arm's length of her cigarette; in her darkest moments, she took pleasure embedding them into his face. He would attempt to deflect her swings, but even so, he never raised his hand against her. Inevitably, he ended up cowering in a corner fearing for his very life. ~



He continues to drive, persevering through the night, stopping only for gas. Yawning he rubs his eyes and stretches one arm around his chest trying to stir himself. Tiring, straining to see the road in front of him. There was no moon or stars out to illuminate his way. His headlights were the only lights breaking through the dark of night. He didn't know where he was going; he just knew he had to go. There was nothing left to hold on to. No reason for him to go back. Katelyn was gone and so was Sara. Had she ever really been there? He didn't know anything anymore. The only thing that made any sense now was to keep driving and to never look back. ~


Chapter Three

Spring was a welcome sight, bringing with it a new life for Adam. He was certain his new life was primed for many new beginnings.

The divorce to Sara was finalized in December. Standing on his deck looking out towards the lake, Adam draws in the fresh crisp air, filling his lungs and releasing with a satisfying sigh. Glad to be alive.

He no longer had to live with the shame of his past. He found a care group within one of the local churches. They wrapped their arms around him. What he thought would be a burden of shame to reveal his secrets, turned out to be quite redemptive. A new life began to evolve almost the moment he opened himself up to God and to others in his church. He knew without a doubt, God had led him to this place. Nothing felt like chance anymore. Everything had purpose.

He hadn't talked to Sara since that night. He let his lawyer's handle everything. He even offered to pay for her attorney which she accepted. He wanted to make a clean break, no hard feelings as they say. He decided forgiveness, and letting go of all the bitterness was far better than holding on to it. More than anything, he wanted to live again.

He understood the events that had transpired in his life were just as much about him as they were about her. Even so, he couldn't help but wonder what deep dark secrets Sara kept hidden inside her soul. He wanted to know the truth, the truth about Katelyn, the truth about what turned Sara into a monster, but peace, yes peace at this time was more important. Those secrets were going to have to lay dormant a while longer. He trusted the Lord would lead him to the truth when he was ready. Until then he was going to learn to walk in wholeness and hold his new friends and his new life dearly close to his heart.

“Adam, you have a phone call.” Roger, Adam's roommate interrupting his muse.

“Can you take a message? I hate to pass up this glorious morning on the phone.”

“Sorry, Adam you should probably take this, she says her name is Sara.”
Adam's hands begin to sweat, his mouth going dry the very moment her name is mentioned.

“How did she get my number?” He whispers to Roger.

“I don't know man; you want me to tell her you're not here?”

“Sorry to do this to you but get her number. I have to call her back”

“Okay, got you covered.” Roger assures him.

Adam can't imagine what reasonable purpose she could have to call him. She hadn't contested the divorce. She hadn't requested to discuss anything regarding the contents of the divorce papers. An unexplained awareness begins to rise up within him. By some means sensing the one thing, the only thing she could want after all this time.

He needed to get his head together; this was too much to take in. All of these emotions coming at him surprised him; thinking he was over his past. He believed he was ready to move on to embrace his future, however a new revelation was descending upon him; he couldn't move on until his past was confronted, all of it even the unfathomable parts. Knowing what he must do, he grabs his bible and heads towards the lake.

Roger calls out to him; Adam waves his bible in the air without slowing his stride. Smiling, Roger knows he is going to be all right.

Adam walks to his favorite spot on the lake front, between two massive oak trees. The branches extend against a great expanse towards the sky. Some of its elephant like limbs sweep down almost touching the ground, and then jet back up towards the heavens. The magnificence of these trees symbolized Gods majesty to Adam. He built a sturdy bench out of teak wood, placing it between the two trees. He felt safe as he sat nestled between the two of them. He came to this place many times during his restoration period, feeling closest to God there. Sitting, he begins to search the word, reading aloud and speaking out to God asking for answers and seeking peace. Above all things he knew he needed God's peace.

“Adam.” Barely a whisper; yet recognizable.

Adam opens his eyes. For a moment he wished it were a ghost standing before him, but it wasn't, it was her. It was Sara.

Closing his eyes again, he realized his prayer had been answered, his inner turmoil had subsided. Adam opens his eyes. In the distance he sees two men in suits, one leaning against a car the other pacing up and down the dirt road chain smoking cigarettes. Adam looks questionably at Sara, but feels he should be silent.

“Adam, I tried to call first, but you were busy. I am sorry to drop in on you like this, but I thought it would be best you heard this from me than from someone else.”

“Hear what? How did you know where to find me?”

“I've always known. One night I came here to kill you, but I couldn't do it. I was over taken by grief at the very sight of you.”
Wait, you've been here? To my house?” “When?” “To what? To kill me?"

"That doesn't matter.”

“It doesn't matter? You came to my home to kill me, and it doesn't matter?”

“Well, yes of course it does, but, but oh, please Adam.” She says, lifting her head.

“You're crying? Sara, what's going on? Are those men with you?”

“Adam, may I sit?”

“Yes.” Adam pats the seat beside him, with his other hand he motions for her to sit next to him. Remembering the last time he did that, “Yes Sara please, sit. Let's talk.”

“Those men are waiting for me. They are attorneys. When I leave here I am going to turn myself in.”

“Turn yourself in?” Adam swallows hard, sensing his fears are about to be founded. Without thought he tightens his grip on his bible and waits.

“Adam. I have done some terrible things, awful and unforgivable things. Sara looks down at her hands. Placing one shaking hand over the other, “I hate that.” She says.

Adam compasionantly reaches out, covering her shaking hands with his own hand. Inexplicably, he knows what she is about to tell him, his inner spirit has already prepared him for this very moment.



She begins with telling him about her father, his drunken bouts and how he cruelly exploited her. She pauses to collect her thoughts. Continuing slowly, she tells him about the last time. She tells him, the vow she made that was supposed to protect her, actually served to destroy her.

“Something inside of me changed, Adam. The night I vowed he would never hurt me again. I stopped crying. Almost instantly fear left and apathy took its place. That night I stopped feeling all emotion except one, hatred. When he finished with me, he staggered out of my room and passed out across his bed. I can still see my actions. I don't recall thinking, it was as if I were possessed with a force that was greater than me; the force of hatred overtook me. I sat on his bed lighting one cigarette after another placing them on his sheet until it finally caught fire. I collected most of the butts, keeping them with me. He was so stupid drunk; he never even woke up. I simply walked out the front door as his bed began to burn. I wasn't sure if he was going to die, but I didn't care, as long as he suffered. As I walked down the street I flung the butts one at a time scattering them to the wind. I pretended they were his ashes. When I think about it, I know I should have been mortified by the very sight of him, but I wasn't. He did finally die, four days later. I sat at his bedside every day pretending to be the loving daughter. I watched as his last breath left his body. It was the most satisfying day of my entire life. In his suffering I found comfort, only it didn't last. His disfigured face began to haunt my dreams. I tried to convince myself, it was my duty to rid this world of such an evil, but still I was tormented by what I had done, causing me to disappear even deeper into darkness.”

Taking a deep breath, Sara begins to shake, sobbing, she begs Adam to forgive her.

Adam knows what’s coming next. He asks God for strength. His voice cracks as he
asks her the question he’s always known the answer to.

“Did you?” He clears his throat and whispers “Katelyn.”

While still holding her hand, he braces himself.

She slowly nods her head. Adam tightens his grip around her hand and begins to sob uncontrollably

I’m so sorry.” she whispers repeatedly.”Why, Sara? I don’t understand. Why? I’m not him, I’m not a monster. What were?”

She places a finger on his lips to quiet him.

“Fear, Adam. Fear, I was so blinded by hatred and this unbridled fear. I was consumed with hating you just for being a man.”

She explains how her fear and anger grew as her unborn child grew. She was angry with God for giving her a daughter, convinced he was bent on tormenting her. God hadn’t protected her when she was a child. There was no one for her to depend on. She trusted no one. Sara knew she was the only one that could protect this child. Once Katelyn was born, Sara knew the evil that men perpetrated couldn’t be allowed to touch her sweet innocent Katelyn. Her heart breaks all over again as she tells him how she gently covered their little Katelyn’s mouth and nostrils, and held them shut until she stopped struggling. She truly believed she was saving Katelyn from the hell she had lived. Moreover, she hated Adam because she blamed him for what she had to do.


They continued to hold each other and for the first time since their daughter’s death, they mourned for her together.She tells him about what went on in her mind that led to the night she came to kill him and of her plan to take her own life immediately after.

She continues, “Your sliding door wasn’t locked. There was a full moon that night which helped me find my way through your house, to your bedroom. It all seemed so perfect and so easy. I saw you sleeping. You had your bible opened, lying across your chest. I stood over you, and then I realized I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t do what I went there to do. I was disgusted with myself. I took one step back about to turn and walk out when I felt compelled to reach for your bible. I pulled it towards me; there was a faint glow from the moon which illuminated the stark white pages that the book was opened to. I stared at those pages, the light was too dim to make out the words, but I couldn’t turn away. I was suddenly overtaken with grief. I ran out of your house clutching your bible to my chest, crying for the first time in twenty years. That was the moment something in me changed.

Adam interrupted, “Bible? Sara, I have my bible.”

They both realized Sara had mistakenly made her way into Roger’s room. Adam remembered the morning Roger came into his room waking him searching for his bible. Finally, after two days Roger broke down, buying himself a new one.


Adam didn’t feel anger or rage welling up inside of him at any time during Sara’s confessions. He marvels at the vast sentiment of compassion that is overtaking him, compassion for her and for the tragic events that led her life to this fateful end. He continues to hold her. They sit intertwined sobbing together.

He knows she could very well be sentenced to death for her crimes, she did too. A price she is willing and ready to pay. She had made her peace with God and now with Adam. She is ready to face whatever lay before her, convinced her future was bright.

Tearing herself from his embrace, thanking him for not hating her she expresses her gratitude for his undeserved mercy.

Imprinting a soft kiss on his check, she whispers, “I'm not afraid.”

As he watches her walk away, Adam knows without reservation that it is the Lords strength that is leading her, and keeping him.